The Kernel

You shut your eyes to the present sometimes, when it is unbearable, when you hope you’re so tired that you will sleep for a year, or more. Then you let the milky past fall across your mind. Look. There are the memories you can see and the ones you want to see—what you know and what you’ve been told to know.

And there, at the end of your past, your beginning, it’s your first memory—the one you sometimes test to see if you still have it. It’s still there. Can you see it? The kernel of you.



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